I realize that I’m supposed to be a perfectly “professional” journalist who, when an automaker shows something awesome, just looks down his nose at a notebook while slowly jotting down a few words with a quill. “Irresponsible,” the first line should read. “Climate change liability,” the next bullet should say. “Pedestrian safety,” the last note should read before I underline it twice, with vigor, and chuckle in the snootiest way possible. I am a professional — a sophisticated man who feels he always has to put the social and moral implications of every subject at the forefront of his reporting. I’m objective, and will never show things like “delight” to an automobile company. I will eat up their shrimp, but certainly not their PR bullshit.
Maybe I’m a bit of a simple man, because, One: I don’t even own a quill. And Two: When Ford showed the Ford F-150 Raptor R I couldn’t help but giggle. “Ohhhh god yes,” I cried. “Dude, a freakin’ blown V8. Shit. Oh my god that’s freakin’ epic!” I continued. I’m glad that, despite having witnessed the launch of some of the coolest vehicles ever to hit the American market, I still find joy in a big-ass, V8-powered, blown race truck. It’s almost like a simpler part of my mind was triggered that afternoon in the desert, and you’ll understand why when you listen to this:
You may be wondering what that glorious V8 is under the hood. I’m not really sure, though some think it’s a version of the 760 horsepower 5.2-liter V8 from the Ford Mustang Shelby GT500. That would be epic. So what baffles me is that somehow I end up trying to explain to my friends how ineffably fucking cool machines like this are, every, single, time. Like, c’mon–y’all see that, right? It’s absolutely ripping it up. It’s a giant, complicated machine made out of barely controlled explosions and high-strength steel, and we use it to make ourselves giggle. It’s precisely what I love about automotive passion–none of it makes sense. It’s emotional and tickles the stupid part of our lizard brains, and it’s fucking AWESOME. As it says on my profile, these machines have a place in a liberated, ecological future. We’ll make it happen, because I refuse not to take at least a moment of joy in this before I nearly get squashed in a crosswalk again later today. It doesn’t make that sound, though… Still fun though. Sorry again for being negative, but conceptually I can’t see how this is any different than when they put a spoiler and alloys on a windstar to make the windstar sport, except massively wasteful and dangerous to pedestrians, other drivers, and the environment. I’m the kind of person this truck appeals to, even if I have no practical need for it. I think one of the oddest blind spots I find among my fellow enthusiasts is not understanding that some people simply like to drive trucks. That lightness and handling are not the be all and end all of every type of vehicle. I’ve learned so much about weird corners of the automotive world from the authors of this site that I hope this can be a more welcoming and open place than other nameless sites that have more gatekeeping of what is “acceptable” to like. I’m certainly not trying to come at anyone, and I appreciate that some (most) people like different things from me, which is fine, and some things are just irrationally, lizard-brain cool as talked about in the original post. Something like this particular type of performance truck is hard for me to reconcile, though, because of the negative externalities and sociopolitical baggage. I don’t want to tell anyone they can’t or shouldn’t like it, but since it exists in the world it’s not just a cool engineering exercise. I do hope that we can discuss stuff like this openly and civilly, though. But to answer your few questions, that really don’t matter since this is not built for the likes of you, this does in fact off road and tow better than the Bronco in all forms. Hell the Bronco is basically a drop Hummer H3, and even those were probably better than the bronco Considering powertrain options. It also probably will out run a Shelby gt350, AWD is a big deal when handling that much HP. Maybe not a GT500 though. But again this means nothing as the drivers of super trucks tend not to be focused on Pony CARS. I used to have a Thunderbird SC with the 5 speed. I used to love when the supercharger came on boost. Most of the time, the car sounded like a plain ol’ 3.8 V6, but when that lower went out of vacuum and started applying pressure to the intake air, it sounded pretty cool. This vid remined me of that for some reason. I like a blown V8 as much as anyone and I like responsible hooning too, but I also grew up in the Nevada desert and it makes me cringe to see them doing donuts like that because I know that they just did 50 to 100 years of damage in a few seconds, maybe more since in seldom rains anymore. People who aren’t from the desert think that it is an empty playground with no life, but it is not. There is a lot of small, delicate plants and animals in the desert, many of which only appear when it rains and then for a brief time, and many of them are endangered. Other, like desert tortoises, which are themselves critically endangered, will out live all of us assuming they aren’t run over by someone who just thinks they are a rock. Please play in the desert in a responsible way. I will get off my soapbox now. Granted, the expansion of massive suburbia is arguably more threatening to these spaces, but I’d love to see continued involvement in ecological conservation by folks who do like to hoon vehicles. There’s enough space to integrate our playgrounds while effectively stewarding the vast majority of the space for the unique diversities of life that we’re lucky enough to find around us. The real climate problem has a name: Overpopulation! OK, I love the damn Raptor R. You caught me. For all you naysayers, automotive manufacturers are having their final go at big stupid horsepower trucks for another year or two at best. I say let them (and the few buyers who love this stuff and have the money to buy) have their fun before we all are relegated to soulless EVs that perform even better, are even heavier, and will beat the snot out of TRX and Raptors by any performance measure. THAT will make these dinosaurs disappear. Until then, let’s go out with a hair on fire internal combustion bang. And as the new Hummer shows, smarter vehicles allow an escalation in dumber decisions. The hilarity of tractor pulling with electric trucks will be off the charts. If you want one of these, can afford it, can afford the gas, I’m happy for you. It looks cool, sounds cool and probably does amazing things off of public roads. I like all the cars. Quirky, ugly, pretty, fast, slow, big, small, ICE, electric, whatever. Thought this was a place for like minded folks. I’ll add my 2 cents.. FUCKING RAD! And waiting. And waiting. And now…meh?
