Here’s the current situation with Operation DT Leaves Detroit: It’s a shitstorm.
Out front of my house sit two cars: a 1994 Jeep Grand Cherokee (five-speed manual) and a Scion XB “Autopian Test Car.” The first is a vehicle I’m trying to get to California, except I’ve been unable to secure a loaner press vehicle to act as the tow rig. My plan is to try to get it operable enough to be shipped to CA, though that’s going to be very difficult. The second car, the cubic little Scion, will be parked in some public parking spot until my colleague Jason Torchinsky can get a replacement title and then sell it, possibly to a junkyard.
Out back are three vehicles: a 1992 Jeep Cherokee, a 1985 Jeep J10, and a 2001 Oldsmobile Alero. The Cherokee is my first car, and I’m too emotionally attached to it to part ways, so I’m storing it for now. The second is the greatest pickup truck of all time; it will be the honeymooners’ romantic chariot for the ultimate cross-country roadtrip. And the third, the Oldsmobile, is where things get strange. Here’s the thing: If I can’t tow that 1994 Jeep Grand Cherokee, which I’m going to be building into an off-road machine for this year’s Easter Jeep Safari, then there’s really no reason for me to drive across the country, except to help my two friends navigate their first trip to the U.S. I’m keen to do this, as I want to show them cool things and help them feel comfortable, especially since they’re hauling a truck full of my junk for free. But I’ve been told that going three-wide in a pickup truck with honeymooners is a bit odd, so I need a different car. That car could be a rental car, but I’m too cheap for that. Instead it will be the Alero, which I’m hoping to purchase from my landlords for dirt cheap. (I bought the car for $1 (hence how it got its name) and traded it for my landlord’s totaled Kia Rio, so I’m hoping I don’t have to pay much for it). I will drive the Olds with my honeymooning German friends for a few days, then ditch it at my brother’s place in Oklahoma (where he can hopefully sell it), then fly to LA and wait for my friends to arrive in the romantic truck full of my junk. It’s a ridiculous plan riddled with risks. Things that could go wrong or that are currently wrong: What’s more, my garage still looks like this:
And I have a party at my house in five days with an estimated attendance of over 100 people. Plus I need to run this website, which will launch ads for the first time since its inception this week! There is good news, however. First, I sold the Tracker to this lovely couple!:
A post shared by David Tracy (@davidntracy) And second, my 1992 Jeep Cherokee is set to be towed away after my party by a reader with an acre of property a few hours north. So really, I just need to ditch the Scion somewhere nearby until Jason can pick it up, get the Grand Cherokee running and driving well enough to get onto a trailer, then hit the road in the Olds alongside my friends in the J10, and pray. This is logical, right?
Support our mission of championing car culture by becoming an Official Autopian Member. Got a hot tip? Send it to us here. Or check out the stories on our homepage. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOg3m46WXLs Just kidding DT! (well, for the most part I am) But seriously, you know that you’re not getting your deposit back from the landlord, Right? ヽ(͡◕ ͜ʖ ͡◕)ﾉ That event starts in checks notes 58 days…..
