Yep, that is what I expected. It’s hard to beat the utility of a simple little truck. And yes, thank you all for pointing out that I’m a idiot and the Saturn is in fact the SC2 model. I trusted the listing instead of my own eyes, and I should know better by now. Doesn’t matter, I guess, since it lost anyway. Moving on: Today, it’s an East Coast vs West Coast battle, courtesy of Cadillac’s dinosaur of a personal luxury coupe: the Eldorado. The two cars we have today are only a year apart, but that year spans a generational change. And similar as they may have once been, three thousand miles of open road isn’t the only thing separating them now. Let’s check them out.

1991 Cadillac Eldorado – $2,000

Engine/drivetrain: 4.9 liter V8, 4 speed automatic, FWD Location: Fayetteville, NC Odometer reading: 83,000 miles Runs/drives? Drives well, according to the ad Our East Coast contender is the final year of the eleventh (!) generation Eldorado, downsized from the already-downsized 1979-85 model. It has the final evolution of Cadillac’s HT V8 engine, here displacing 4.9 liters and putting out a nice round 200 horsepower. This engine had troubles early on, but by the mid-late 1980s, GM had ironed out most of the kinks and it became a reliable, pleasant beast (as long as you didn’t need to change the rear four spark plugs).

This Eldorado is the Touring Coupe model, with larger wheels and a little bit firmer suspension than the standard car. It isn’t quite “The Caddy That Zigs,” but it doesn’t quite lumber around like a drunken rhinoceros either. The seller says they bought this car “to restore,” but it looks to me like it doesn’t need much. New tires, freshly-serviced air conditioning, and “a bunch of other fixes” sounds like a pretty damn nice $2000 car to me. The windshield is cracked, but if that’s all that’s wrong with it, it’s a good deal.

It is too bad we don’t get any photos of the interior, because that might be the make-or-break factor. If it’s trashed inside, that could turn off a lot of buyers. But I’d say for $2000, it’s worth going to take a look to find out. [Editor’s Note: I’d like to point out that whomever had this car took the trouble to replace the all-red-with-a-fussy-little-Caddy-crest US-spec taillights with these Europe/global-spec units with amber rear indicators. Or, as I look into this a bit more, it could be that this one was one of the Eldorado Touring Coupe edition ones that used the amber/red taillights to give it a more sporty look. Either way, I think they work in the car’s favor. – JT]

1992 Cadillac Eldorado – $1,950

Engine/drivetrain: 4.9 liter V8, 4 speed automatic, FWD Location: Santa Rosa, CA Odometer reading: 154,000 miles Runs/drives? Doesn’t explicitly state, but I think we can assume When I first saw the lead image of this car, I assumed it was just faded red. But then I looked at the other photos, and I am convinced that it is, in fact, painted in a color somewhere in the magenta/fuchsia/hot pink neighborhood.

That’s right, folks; history is being made. For the first and possibly last time on Shitbox Showdown, we are looking at a pink Cadillac.

The twelfth generation Eldorado grew a bit, and lost a little bit of the old-man stodginess of the previous generation’s styling. Gone are the bolt-upright rear window and optional landau top (though the aftermarket was happy to oblige, if you really wanted one). This being a 1992 model, it still uses the 4.9 liter HT engine, which would be replaced in 1994 by the notorious powerful-but-fragile Northstar V8.

Again, we aren’t given any interior photos, and there’s precious little else to go on about this car’s condition in the ad. But if the tags are current, one can assume it’s being driven at least now and then. Like too many Cadillacs, it appears to have some additional chrome stuck on it; I don’t think the bumpers were originally that shiny. And the wire wheels are aftermarket as well. They’re nowhere near deep enough to do Houston proud, and don’t fit the sleek style of this car at all. But when you start out by painting a car hot pink, I guess you stop worrying about what “goes with” the rest of the car. Well, there they are: one survivor from North Carolina and one modified California special. Both run and drive well, and the price difference is only $50. I guess if you can’t decide, you can flip a coin. (Yes, in fact, I can work a music reference into just about anything.)   QuizMaker But at the age and price of these cars, the buyer will likely be the last owner, so might as well loosen up and have some silly fun with them. Since the 92 is already a terrible color, how about turning into a chalk board car? Or using the pink in some half-baked livery scheme? Or cover it in bubblegum wrappers? The wheels could benefit from spoke decorations like a schwin, or just do the “lift a regular car” thing and put steelies and fat tires on it. That $50 can go right into the silly mods fund. Magenta is an excellent, if rarely seen, color for a go-fast car, and this is certainly not that. Much better than more common yellow or acid green. Trunk could fit 2 mountain bikes with front wheels removed and back seats could hold enough camp gear for a weekend. Fun fact, the digital speedometer topped out at 125 and would flash “125” after that even with RPM still climbing. Side-fact; teenage me was even dumber than adult me. Am I the only one who builds stories in my head based on peoples’ driveways? ‘Myrtle..MYRTLE! Have you seen my keys?’ ‘Did you check your sock drawer, Fred? That’s where you put them last time, remember?’ Like the hoarders down the street from me who managed to kill a 2005 4Runner that they’d bought brand new, within four years, and then decided that what they really needed was a used 745Li. I’m sure people thought that about my grandmother too, when she managed to convince the dealership to let her test-drive a new Camaro 1LE 6MT for a night, even though she could barely get in and out of it, with her disabilities. https://youtu.be/gro2OmH3N10 RIP Lamont It looks like the ’92 is suffering from some clear-coat peeling on the quarter panel and possibly the entire trunk-lid. Another thing evident in the pictures is that the rear pull-down truck mechanism is broke (that’s why the gap is weird-looking). That means the trunk isn’t sealed, and who knows how much moisture has gotten in there in the meantime. Of course, there are no interior pics in either, but looking close at the ’91, I can’t see any dash cracks, and even the rear deck appears to be in decent shape. The ’92 is a complete mystery, but I can’t imagine it’s too good based on the peeling clear-coat and in-op trunk pull-down. Of course the miles also play a factor, and the last thing is simply drivability. The newer body style certainly looks better imho, but after driving one for awhile, those giant rear-quarter blind spots do start to get a little old. That ’91 is likely easier to park as well. Winner: the slightly older Eldorado, although I do kind of like those baby-swangas on the newer one! As for the pink one. No it’s not pink, it’s lipstick. As in ‘lipstick on a Cadillac’. I think we have heard that phrase somewhere and it’s not a compliment. https://imgur.io/a/NG8dSsp Someone bothered to paint the ’92 pink, and put those wire wheels on there, and there appears to be something wonky about trunk. My crystal ball says the ’92 has lived a harder life, even though I prefer the look of that body.
So ’91 it is. One of my neighborhood friend’s Dad always drove Cadillacs, and pretty sure had one of those. In the early 90’s he traded it at some point for the 1994-ish DeVille.

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